Reggie Bush, Kim Kardashian and Her Big Boobs are House Hunting

In more news that is sure to annoy you more than inform you, Kim Kardashian and her giant breasts are house-hunting along with their boyfriend Reggie Bush, who tries to play football for the New Orleans Saints.

Inside sources tell me they are looking for a place that will match their collective talents, restricting their search to Compton, Harlem, Topeka Kansas and Afghanistan.

NCAA Football: Week 10 Happenings

Michael Floyd is back in time for the Navy game

College Football’s Week 10 is approaching, so here are a few things to watch for:

1) Terrell Pryor takes on Penn State, at Penn State. Yawn.

2) Michael Floyd (above) has been cleared to play against Navy after sitting out with a broken collarbone suffered in Week 3 against Michigan State. Watch this guy play, he might actually be better than Golden Tate.  Probably won’t do to much in his first week back though, as (7-1) Pitt looms next on the schedule.

3) Brandon “Prison Rules” Spikes will sit out the entire game against lowly Vanderbilt this week, assumingly to have some time to whittle a shiv out of a toothbrush in preparation for the SEC championship game against Alabama.  Somebody’s gettin’ shanked!

"Anything goes!"

And Now, To Make Up For My Last Post…

The amazing Bar Rafaeli.

I’m sorry about the Mariah Carey thing.  I’ll try to minimize the fat-people-in-bikini pictures from here on out, but I had a chance to insult someone that annoys me….and sometimes that urge is just so hard to resist. 

Now, back to this glorious woman! Oh the things I’d do to you if I could do you…in the 2?

Save the Whales!

Mariah Carey doesn’t like being called fat, so I hope she doesn’t stumble across this website and notice that I just called her a beached whale. 

I have a feeling she won’t.  Computers are nearly impossible to use when you are fully submerged in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Aw Crap, The Yankees Won

The Yankees phinally phinished oph the Phillies last night, much to the dismay of the entire world’s population, except for those few with “Pompadour” hairstyles.

Hot Words! Thursday October 4th!

Do I actually know what's going on in the world? Let's find out!

1. brandon patch….who the hell is this?
2. sesame street 40th anniversary…kids still love it!
3. honda skydeck concept …not sure, but sounds cool!
4. carly fiorina…probably a mean bitch! 
5. csco…Canadian Shoe Carving Organization? 
6. carrie prejean tape…yes, please!   
7. tropical storm ida…not in my neck of the woods, so no big deal! 
8. casino denies man 166 million jackpot…wtf?
9. tim floyd…the former USC Hoops coach broke up a fight in a casino.  
10. buggery…not sure what it is…but I hope it involves porn!

Really Old Guys To Star In World Series Game 6

It’s a battle of aging—I mean “aged”–pitchers tonight in Game 6 of the World Series.

Andy “Old Balls” Pettitte will wheel his way up to the mound and be the first player in Major League history to pitch from a wheelchair, while Pedro “Pampers” Martinez will pitch standing up, but will have aid from a colostomy bag to avoid trips to the bathroom in-between innings.

In other words, I hope you have some good shows DVR’d, because you sure as shit will be bored watchin’ this one!

A Hockey Halloween: Racists and Hotties

Girl on the Right? Yes, Please.

Patrick Kane (right) debuting his 2nd brilliant PR move of the year.

Yahoo! Sports has some funny/racist/hot pictures of Halloween costumes  that were all related to the NHL in one way or another.

The first picture comes from a St. Louis Blues game, and I want to thank the brunette on the right for attending.  My newly soiled keyboard and monitor will never think of me the same as a result of your excellent fashion sense.

 
The second picture are a couple Blackhawks players, Adam Burish and Patrick Kane.  Kane, as we all know from this summer, helped assault a cabbie in his hometown with his hick cousin.  I guess he thought it’d be smart to top it off by painting himself black and dressing as Scottie Pippen for Halloween.

I don’t necessarily condemn Kane for this as it’s all in good fun, but it just shows how much of a dumbass he is for doing it after the incidents that haunted him no more than 6 months ago.  The media is very sensitive, and therefore, he himself shouldn’t have done it.

One more thing, if Dustin Byfuglien, a black teammate of Kane’s, dressed up in whiteface as Luc Longley  or something and joined in with Kane, then this all would have been seen as universally funny by the media. 

Now here’s another hot broad:

Please Crash!

 

Sometimes I post stories so non-newsworthy that people wonder why I’m doing it.  I’ll tell you why.  It’s usually because I either think the non-news story contains a girl who’s hotness is worthy of getting a post, or it’s because I post something so annoying I just feel a need to make fun of it.

This is one of those things I just have to make fun of.  People Magazine so bravely reports:

the British-born actor says of his costar, “She’s a unique girl. You really don’t meet many people like Kristen.”

Oh screw off you British tool.  Go buy a comb while you are at it ya goddamned hippie.  This girl is only unique in the fact that she possesses the personality of a lebodomized goat and she always looks stoned. 

I really hope that motorcycle from the picture above is a) moving at 70 mph there and b) headed for a concrete wall with spikes in it. 

These two idiots must be stopped.

This Makes The Syracuse Football Team Look Like World Beaters

LeMoyne Stuns Syracuse

So when I first read the headline this morning that Lemoyne had upset Syracuse, I first thought the football team played on a Tuesday and lost to a one-man team, a guy named LeMoyne. 

Apparently, I was wrong.  It was the no. 25 Syracuse Orangemen’s basketball team that lost to a small school named LeMoyne.  Even more embarassing for the “Cuse, who is predominantly known as a basketball school.

Congrats to LeMoyne, an actual school, not a person.