British Girl with Huge Cans Makes WordPress Blog

Sophie Reade: Giant Breasts + Whipped Cream

Slow news day here, which usually means girls with giant breasts get an opportunity to shine in my amazing little corner of the internet.

This girl, Sophie Reade, is British and has huge cans.  “Oi’d loike to stick moy willay in butween those knockahs, eh?”  Probably the worst British imitation ever, but that’s what I’d say if I were British.  That along with “Oi’d loike to dip my tea ‘n crumpets onto er head!” 

Double You Tee Eff: UNC shocks Virginia Tech

There was a College Football game last night, and it was an ACC game, and baseball was on, and that show “FlashForward,” so none of you probably even knew it happened.  Well, what happened was an upset!  You missed a fuckin’ upset because you were watching “FlashForward” you nerd!  You should have turned on ESPN, where College Football lives!

The Tar Heels (5-4, 1-3 Atlantic Coast Conference) got their first conference win after forcing a fumble by Ryan Williams at his own 24 with 2:02 left and turning it into the winning drive.

The Hokies (5-3, 3-2), who until losing to No. 11 Georgia Tech 12 days ago were in the national championship picture, lost their second straight.

So yeah, you missed that.  You just HAD to watch “FlashForward,” didn’t you.  The entire world blacked out and saw their future!  When I black out, I see nothing, because I do it right.  And when I wake up, it’s usually in an alley and I don’t know where I am or how I got there, so it’s kind of like time travelling.  So there ya go, binge drinking = time traveling.  Remember that, kids.

Remember “Terrible” Terry Tate?

The Office Linebacker.  If this guy actually existed in most offices, perhaps a job in a cube would be more tolerable.  Unless, of couse, it is you that doesn’t refill the paper in the copy machine and subsequently feels the wrath of one of this bone-rattling hits.

If Anyone Knows Sexy, It’s Marissa Miller

Sexy (left) and Rose (right)

So I’ll go ahead and take her word for it after awarding Bulls guard Derrick Rose with the title of being one of Chicago’s sexiest athletes.

Sure, whatever, Derrick Rose is sexy.  I don’t care.  I personally like Derrick Rose as a player so good for him.  He got to meet Marissa Miller, which is something I only do at 1 a.m. when I’m drunk surfing google images (safesearch: Off.)  I’m just glad that Jar Jar Binks lookin’ idiot Joakim Noah didn’t get this award. 

Now for some more Marissa Miller.

How to Describe “Mediocrity,” In a Picture

No story here, just your average Hollywood whore thinking she’s the bee’s knees.

Honestly, I just wanted to say “she’s the bee’s knees.”  That was the purpose of this post.

Halloween Costumes that I Anticipate Seeing Way Too Many Of: 2009 Edition

1) Billy Mays.  This over-the-top power-seller died young…but he died doing what he truly loved…cocaine and oxy-contin.

2) Alan Garner, from “The Hangover.”  Easy to pull off.  Grow a beard, wear tight jeans and a tight indie shirt and quote movie lines all night, because you aren’t actually funny yourself.  😦

3) This dumb bitch.  We all know who she is, and I am refusing to mention her by name on my site.  I may slap a girl wearing that hairdo.  Not creative, not funny, just fucking lame. 

 

4) You just know some dork is going to try and pull this one off.  Hot Girl upon seing this costume: “Wow, you obviously majored in Engineering!  I’m impressed, but I’m not going to sleep with you.   That guy dressed up as  a fireman is wayyyy hotter!”

Sigh….

College Football Top 25 Overview for Oct. 31st

Your faces? Not on my site ladies!

I figured it would be good to keep all my loyal followers updated on what all the relevant teams in College Football are doing this week.  It’s that time of year when so much is going on, between Halloween, the World Series, College Basketball and the NBA starting up and the weather getting shitty thereby causing severe depression, forcing you to lock yourself in a darkened room and masturbate to POV porn all day…kids can tend to get distracted and forget about whats going on in ol’ College Football. 

It looks like only two decent games are going on…Georgia-Florida and Texas-Oklahoma State (sans Dez “Rangs ‘n Thangs” Bryant.)

See?  I’m here to help.  Now add me to your favorites list.

World's Largest Cocktail Party

Hottest Italian Soccer WAGs? Sure, Why Not. I’ll Post It.

Some Hot "WAG," whatever that means.

So I’m gonna go ahead post a link to the 13 Hottest Italian Soccer WAGs.  Why did they rank 13 of them?  Are there only 13 hot ones?  What the fuck does WAG stand for?  I know it means they bang soccer players in exchange for fame and money, but what does it actually stand for? 

Ah, don’t bother telling me, I don’t actually care.  I’m just happy these sassy little whores exist.

Hurray! An Excuse to Post Something On Minka Kelly

Honk Honk!

So Minka Kelly’s best friend is Derek Jeter, they totally AREN’T banging or anything, because she wants to bang me really really bad and would never do anything to jeopardize that.  She did, however, show up to Derek’s World Series game in support of her totally platonic pal.  Yep, just friends.

Oh, and that washed up squinty-eyed whore Kate Hudson was there too.  She’s givin’ out handjobs to Yankees like it’s going out of style.

"This is my handjob face!"

NCAA BB Top 25…What a Difference a Sleaze Makes

College Basketball is about to start, meaning it must be time for old farts to guess what every team’s gonna do before they play a game in order to generate a buzz before the season begins.  The new poll is out here. 

Not surprisingly, John Calipari and his magical snake oil has managed the improve his new team, the historical powerhouse Kentucky Wildcats, from NIT failures to #5 in the country.

As much as this guy reeks of douchebaggery, scum and pure woppery, he’s damn good at what he does.   Kentucky will be back, and as an Indiana fan, that kinda sucks.  Here’s your Pre-Season Top 5:

1) Kansas

2) Michigan State

3) Texas

4) UNC

5) Kentucky