NCAA Football: Week 10 Happenings

November 5, 2009

Michael Floyd is back in time for the Navy game

College Football’s Week 10 is approaching, so here are a few things to watch for:

1) Terrell Pryor takes on Penn State, at Penn State. Yawn.

2) Michael Floyd (above) has been cleared to play against Navy after sitting out with a broken collarbone suffered in Week 3 against Michigan State. Watch this guy play, he might actually be better than Golden Tate.  Probably won’t do to much in his first week back though, as (7-1) Pitt looms next on the schedule.

3) Brandon “Prison Rules” Spikes will sit out the entire game against lowly Vanderbilt this week, assumingly to have some time to whittle a shiv out of a toothbrush in preparation for the SEC championship game against Alabama.  Somebody’s gettin’ shanked!


"Anything goes!"


Double You Tee Eff: UNC shocks Virginia Tech

October 30, 2009

There was a College Football game last night, and it was an ACC game, and baseball was on, and that show “FlashForward,” so none of you probably even knew it happened.  Well, what happened was an upset!  You missed a fuckin’ upset because you were watching “FlashForward” you nerd!  You should have turned on ESPN, where College Football lives!

The Tar Heels (5-4, 1-3 Atlantic Coast Conference) got their first conference win after forcing a fumble by Ryan Williams at his own 24 with 2:02 left and turning it into the winning drive.

The Hokies (5-3, 3-2), who until losing to No. 11 Georgia Tech 12 days ago were in the national championship picture, lost their second straight.

So yeah, you missed that.  You just HAD to watch “FlashForward,” didn’t you.  The entire world blacked out and saw their future!  When I black out, I see nothing, because I do it right.  And when I wake up, it’s usually in an alley and I don’t know where I am or how I got there, so it’s kind of like time travelling.  So there ya go, binge drinking = time traveling.  Remember that, kids.

College Football Top 25 Overview for Oct. 31st

October 29, 2009
FSU gals

Your faces? Not on my site ladies!

I figured it would be good to keep all my loyal followers updated on what all the relevant teams in College Football are doing this week.  It’s that time of year when so much is going on, between Halloween, the World Series, College Basketball and the NBA starting up and the weather getting shitty thereby causing severe depression, forcing you to lock yourself in a darkened room and masturbate to POV porn all day…kids can tend to get distracted and forget about whats going on in ol’ College Football. 

It looks like only two decent games are going on…Georgia-Florida and Texas-Oklahoma State (sans Dez “Rangs ‘n Thangs” Bryant.)

See?  I’m here to help.  Now add me to your favorites list.

florida gators taunt georgia bulldogs

World's Largest Cocktail Party

Thanks to NCAA, Former Heisman Hopeful Now Just a Really Athletic Education Major

October 28, 2009

 dez bryantSo the NCAA suspended Dez Bryant for the rest of the season because he talked to Deion Sanders, presumably about making tons of cash and using that cash to buy houses, bitches and gold-ass rangs and thangs:  

The university announced Wednesday that Bryant “failed to openly disclose to the NCAA the full details of his interaction with a former NFL player not affiliated with OSU.

The decision to suspend him for the year is horseshit if you ask me.  Bryant apologized, learned from his mistake, and pleaded to be re-instated, but the NCAA (sometimes) rules with an iron fist and brought the hammer down on him. 

For now,  Bryant will have to settle with being the most athletically gifted Education major in the country;  but in about 8 months or so, he’ll be making millions of dollars in the NFL, and he can party with Primetime all he wants.

ESPN Suspends Old Racist Guy

October 27, 2009


So ESPN is really busy today apparently.  First, they fire horndog Steve Phillips for porking that fatty Brooke Hundley, and second, they suspend ol’ Bob Griese for this

During ESPN’s broadcast of the Minnesota-Ohio State game Saturday, a graphic was shown listing the top five drivers in NASCAR’s points race. Fellow analyst Chris Spielman asked where was Montoya, who is Colombian.

Griese replied he was “out having a taco.”

So ESPN suspends Griese for being a racist, which is pretty much a slap on the wrist considering it’s only for a week, but they fire Steve Phillips for cheating on his wife?  Makes sense for a company owned by Disney. 

That Mickey Mouse is one racist son-of-a-bitch.  But he’s a faithful son of a bitch, because he knows Minnie would chop his little balls off at the first chance she got.

Vote Golden Tate!

October 27, 2009


I don’t care if you hate Notre Dame, it’s understandable considering they are the “Duke” of College Football, but if you don’t like Golden Tate you clearly aren’t watching him play.

ESPN has finally included him onto their Heisman “Rank ‘Em” watchlist, so do yourself a favor and vote for Golden.  Not only because he’s the best receiver in the country, but also because we all know if Tim Tebow wins again, Satan has won. 

He’s electric! He’s unbelievable! He’s….jumping…into the…other team’s…band??